He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
