Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
