Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
