We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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