Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
