Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
