Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
