Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
