He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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