i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
