he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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