There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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