She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
