i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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