wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
