sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
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