just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you had me at cake vodka
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
