Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
