dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
