I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
