Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
pray to the hookup gods
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
