Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This house was built for laser tag.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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