I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
