there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He better not be in your backpack
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
