Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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