If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
