OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
