Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
