I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
