separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
