I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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