I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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