i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
