that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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