I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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