You're so nebulous sometimes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
