Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
