At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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