Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
