we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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