I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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