My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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