Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm bleeding and have questions
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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