Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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