so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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