Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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