She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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