My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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