I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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