I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
