He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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