My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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