Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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