you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
this will be a night to untag.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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