Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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