she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
