i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize
