he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
